Tag Archives: doctor frankenstein

“Spooks” – The Three Stooges – 3D Slapstick

Our three favorite saps are schlepping this time as detectives and get a client who wants them to find his missing daughter. The boys take the job and go “undercover” dressed as pie salesmen (guess what’s coming? lol) to the area where the girl was last seen. It turns out that the dilapidated house they stumble into actually conceals a secret laboratory of a mad scientist who is intending to use the lost girl’s noggin as a brain transplant for his gigantic, bi-pedal, caged gorilla! Dr. Frankenstein is spinning in his grave!

This episode adopted the Fifties fad of the 3D process then popular in theaters. What you get as a result are two eye-gouging fingers shown going directly in the camera along with knives, pitchforks, water streams, and, yes, pies! Quick! Duck from the whipped cream laden pie before it splatters on your face, clothes, etc.

Not exactly “spooky” but great fun. Moe, Larry and Shemp, this time out, throw out the zany, zinger jokes and lay it on thick with the pies at the comedic shorts’ conclusion. Perfect Halloween fare!

“Dracula vs. Frankenstein” (1971) – Shit Sideshow of Monsters and Mayhem

Schlock director Al Adamson resurrected some classic Universal monsters for this low grade monster epic. Some tall cat named Zandor Vorkov plays Dracula with his voice heavily processed with reverb. Interesting effect but probably not necessary. Dracula pays a visit to Dr. Durea who runs a carnival monster exhibit upstairs but has a fully equipped laboratory in the basement to carry out his experiments. In fact, Durea is a direct descendant of the infamous Dr. Frankenstein. And we all know that the Franken-family has that overreaching desire to resurrect the dead coursing through their veins! Dracula wants Durea to perfect an elixir that will make the vampire king nearly invincible. Dracula has also recovered the original Frankenstein monster and wants it revived as well to join his legion of monsters who will bring Mankind to its knees. Vorkov plays Dracula with a psuedo-sophistication based on Adamson’s script and I can tell you that Lugosi has no reason to be concerned that his performance of the vampire is in any danger of being surpassed. Vorkov’s ring that he wears shoots lightening bolts. That’s new! The Frankenstein monster is a hulking dude who has a face that looks like a pool of dried oatmeal. Not impressive.

A lot of the trappings of the old Universal monster movies appear. Durea has a laboratory that is full of flashing lights, electrodes and sparking equipment just like Dr. Frankenstein had down in his lab. Some of the footage of lights is leftover film of the sex machine from “Horror of the Blood Monsters” (1970), another Adamson turkey. Nice. Lon Chaney Jr. is onboard and even dons a werewolf mask for a second just like he did in “The Wolfman” (1941). Otherwise, he plays a drug-induced, axe-wielding, homicidal manic who procures fresh bodies for Durea’s experiments. J. Carrol Naish plays Durea who happens to be confined to a wheelchair. He and Chaney Jr. acted together 25+ years earlier in “House of Frankenstein” (1944).

So much for Dracula reviving the Frankenstein monster, though. They have a falling out over a club singer and start brawling. Take note: This monumental confrontation happens in the LAST 10 minutes of the movie. What a rip-off! Dracula pulls the monster apart but realizes too late that the Sun is about to rise. Bad timing!

Have a go at a viewing of this generally shoddy effort. But beware that the You Tube video available is heavily pixelated and difficult to watch.

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) – Assorted Debauchery

Gruesome Hammer Films reinterpretation of the classic Universal monster movie vehicle of a mad, maverick doctor and his attempts to bring life to dead bodies.  Made in 1957, this horror remake is a graphic, Technicolor chronicle of the despicable practices that Dr. Frankenstein engages in.  Portrayed as a kind of sadistic, cold-hearted deviant, Peter Cushing is marvelous as the doctor.  Cushing carries on an affair with his housekeeper even while his long suffering fiancé is sleeping upstairs in the castle.  Having previously promised the housekeeper marriage, as well, Cushing laughs in her face and says he never had any such intention.  When he learns that the housekeeper is pregnant and threatens exposing his behind closed door hobby of reanimating dead things, the good doctor locks the lass in the lab with the hideous creature and lets him rip her to pieces.  Christopher Lee is more a less seen as one of the unluckiest characters in movie history.  The “creature” never asked for this treatment but endures a horrific, miserably short lived existence.  The brute stumbles out of Frankenstein’s estate and out in to the countryside.  Killing at least one other unfortunate he has come across, the Creature is put out of its misery with a bullet to the head by Frankenstein’s assistant.  If that isn’t enough, Dr. Frankenstein brings the beast back to life and the brain damaged result is converted in to a shambling, semi obedient pet following Frankenstein’s commands.  It is a pathetic sight indeed.  Frankenstein’s dream of creating the perfect “Superman” does in fact turn into a compete failure.  This Hammer Films reboot makes that point quite painfully clear.

“FRANKENSTEIN’S ARMY” – 2013

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I stumbled upon this movie late at night and was instantly appalled!  What a horrific, nightmarish spectacle it all is.  A unit of Russian soldiers during World War II are unfortunate enough to wander into the Hell of a den of nearly unstoppable human/robot hybrids.  The soldiers’ mission is to apprehend a latter day descendant of the evil Dr. Frankenstein himself and put a stop to his hideous killer creations.  They should have gone AWOL and fled the mission.  The creatures featured in this lovely gore fest are pieced together from dead bodies and curious mechanical parts the good doctor has lying around his lab.  I’ll let you discover their grotesque makeup on your own.  I guess this is one of the charms the film could boast.  What insane mash up of corpse and metal might be coming next?  It is possible for the entire concept of “Frankenstein’s Army”  to build up a loyal fan base and a new horror franchise could be born.  Plenty of gunplay, unrelenting action, explosions, freakish creatures, severed limbs, exposed brains, bloodshed and insane ranting to please even the most jaded horror movie fan.  Truly sickening!!!